Iran: the case for invasion

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curveball Is Iran About To Genocide The Metrosexuals? 655 Views Hold on to your pomade, the Islamofascists are coming! The ever- =

strengthening case for war against Iran became nigh-airtight this =

morning with the Wall Street Journal’s front- page story detailing =

the Islamic Republic’s latest assault on freedom. Religious police, =

reports Andrew Higgins, are cracking down with unprecedented =

brutality, denying Iranian citizens even such basic human rights as =

coiffure choice and manscape self-determination:

Now, under a new national campagin to enforce “Islamic norms,” men, =

too, are becoming victims of Islamically correct fashion. Hair gel is =

OK=97in modest dollops=97but hair-dyes of odd colors are out, as are =

shaped and trimmed eyebrows, Mohawk cuts and conspicuous spikes. Men =

are not supposed to wear cosmetics, and they are not to wear ties.

Adding insult to injury, the sanctioned look preferred by bureaucrats =

=97″short, stubbly beards and pudding-bowl haircuts”=97is so last season.

Such is the portrait of a failed state crying out for regime change. =

News of the expanded sartorial repression is especially disheartening =

coming after yesterday’s semi-optimistic L.A. Times report on the =

freedom fighters in Tehran who have recently added underground =

fashion shows to such resistance measures as “outlandish liquor- and =

drug-soaked parties, art exhibitions, showings of banned movies, =

[and] hip-hop concerts.”

Indeed, the Journal’s findings dissolve any hope for a non-military =

solution; it now appears that Ahmadinejad and his cronies will go to =

any length to quell the voices of democratic cosmetology:

Tehran’s Union of Men’s Hairdressers is working to keep its members =

out of trouble. “It’s not easy being a barber,” sighs its chief, Mr. =

Eftekharifard, a jolly 47-year-old who began his hairdressing before =

the 1979 Islamic revolution.

Most Iranian men wear their hair short and avoid any unconventional =

flourishes, but a few youths, particularly in affluent areas, indulge =

in elaborate exercises of hair topiary…. Some fashion conscious =

young men have started shaping their eyebrows and even wearing =

makeup. Mr. Eftekharifard blames the trend on satellite television =

and the proliferation of unregistered, underground hair salons.

So there, defeatniks! Far from a lost cause, the Persians have a =

burgeoning salon society just waiting for a foreign invasion or two. =

But the unibrowed and comb-overed forces of evil can’t be held off =

forever: At a shopping arcade near the British embassy in central Tehran, =

police last week raided shops selling ties. The owner of one store =

says they forced him to strip clothing dummies of neckties and =

ordered him to take down an ad featuring an Italian in a suit and =

tie. He now hides his contraband neckwear in a plastic bag behind the =

counter.

It doesn’t take Henry Kissinger to figure out that an attack on fine =

Italian made-to-measure is an attack on everything we as a =

civilization hold dear. The time to act is now.

Unless you want want the smoking gun to be a pleated trouser. =97Jon

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